My Life Unedited

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facts-i-just-made-up:

cocktormedick:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Mated turtles share their shells!
Not always but often when a pair of turtles mates, the male will leave his own shell and move in with the female. After doing so the couple will coordinate their arm and leg movements to walk and even swim.

I call this “Trying to get notes with false facts.”

I assure you, Facts-I-Just-Made-Up would never post false facts just to get notes. I also do it to confuse, misinform, and hurt people.

facts-i-just-made-up:

cocktormedick:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Mated turtles share their shells!

Not always but often when a pair of turtles mates, the male will leave his own shell and move in with the female. After doing so the couple will coordinate their arm and leg movements to walk and even swim.

I call this “Trying to get notes with false facts.”

I assure you, Facts-I-Just-Made-Up would never post false facts just to get notes. I also do it to confuse, misinform, and hurt people.

(via rndmtaco)

hannibb:

who wears the pants in the relationship? well preferably no one will be wearing pants

(via noiselessidiot)

foreveralone-lyguy:

pizzaforpresident:

if i was trapped inside a room filled with explosives and the only way out was to eat a whole tomato i would die

How the hell would you even get in that situation

(via benadryl-cucumberpatch)

monkeysaysficus:

samuralex:

monkeysaysficus

As I was laughing, my roommate walked past my door and said “NO LAUGHING?”

(via benadryl-cucumberpatch)

kingloptr:

fruitappreciation:

omg apparently artificial banana flavoring is based on the gros michel banana which was wiped out by a banana plague in the 50s and the banana we eat today is a totally different thing called the cavendish and thats why banana candy doesnt taste like bananas do you know how lied to i feel. like there was a fucking banana apocalypse and no one told me about it until now

image

(via noiselessidiot)

rawrimamidget:

monobeartheater:

absorr:

ultrafacts:

Source For more posts like this, CLICK HERE to follow Ultrafacts

 Some of you are reblogging because you think its funny that programmers would talk to ducks. I’m reblogging because I think its funny picturing a programmer explaining their code, realizing what they did when they explain the bad code, then grabbing the strangling the duck while yelling “WHY WAS THE FIX THAT SIMPLE!? AM I GOING BLIND!”

AS A PROGRAMMER I CAN TELL YOU THAT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU FUCKING DO WE HAD TO BAN THE DUCKS FROM MY CLASSES BECAUSE EVERYONE WOULD FLIP THE DUCK OR THROW IT AT A WALL OR SOMETHING WHEN THEY FIGURED OUT THE PROBLEM IN THEIR CODE

(via noiselessidiot)

cerebrosbeforehoes:

I saw an opportunity, and I took it.

cerebrosbeforehoes:

I saw an opportunity, and I took it.

(via thtlxkndr)

It is funnier in Enochian when you realize that "you breed with the mouth of a goat" means "you talk dirty when you fuck"

(via markocain)

tastefullyoffensive:

The salmon send their best assassin. [x]

tastefullyoffensive:

The salmon send their best assassin. [x]

(via tmntyler)

fuckyeahabandonedplaces:

Lost hospital from 1940 that never finished being built source

whatareweholdingonto-sam:

before u do a thing, ask urself

"would captain picard condone the thing"

and if the answer is yes then make it so

(via maketreknotwar)

tmntyler:

blackjackmothafucka:

This is the devil’s favorite post

I’ve never gotten so mad from one post.